A Heavy Heart

I love playing hide and seek with Shep. It is one of my favorite activities with him and we play almost everyday. I am always the hider and Shep is always the seeker. Most days, it works out great. He is happy and runs around the house hunting me. However, some days are hard. Shep gets scared during our game and he forgets to call for me. Calling for me is key to the success of the game -- especially with an (almost) 2-year old. I always answer him when he calls my name.  Today, he sounded panicked when he couldn't find me. When I heard the panic in his voice, I ran to him and held him close. I reminded him that I will always answer when he calls for me. And in that moment, it hit me - that is just like our relationship with God. He always answers when we call on Him. Even when things are hard.



This week has been hard. Really hard. I have been struggling to keep in the tears, and I have failed miserably. 

Tuesday started like any normal day. I went to my weekly bible study, BSF, as we studied Revelation. I walked in and sat next to my new friend Brittany. She is one of most beautiful women I have ever known and the more I get to know her, the more I realize that she is as beautiful inside as she is on the outside.



Our class was talking about having an eternal perspective and the things of heaven. I shared about my own personal fear of suffering as we study the book of Revelation. In the middle of class, my friend Brittany got a call that changed her life forever. First, it is important to know that Brittany is 26 and she is the mother to 3 boys under 3. Her oldest turned 3 yesterday, actually. Her youngest is just 3 months old. 

Due to random, unfortunate, and tragic circumstances, Brittany's husband passed away from an aneurism on Tuesday. Patrick, Brittany's husband, was the sole provider for his loving wife and 3 precious little boys.

The last few days have been so hard for many people, but mostly for my sweet friend and her family.

As you can imagine, there are so many tangible needs that this family has right now. If you would like to join Will and me in supporting this young family, please find more information below:

There are 3 ways to give:

1. Go to any Wells Fargo and make a deposit into the Patrick Price memorial fund.
   
2. Send a check payable to Brittany Brummel to 12195 Hway 192 Ste 114 #354 Woodstock, GA 30188 (You could send a check via BillPay here!)
   
3. Utilize their "Go Fund Me" account at: https://www.gofundme.com/965bk4gs. Note: This is the least helpful way to give as a portion of your gift goes to administrative costs.

My heart has been heavy over the last few days. It has been heavy for my friend, but also heavy thinking about the possibility of losing Will and the harsh reality that our days our numbered. I have also felt convicted of my own selfish and self-centered tendencies.

A tragedy like this really puts life into perspective. But I am thinking back to my hide and seek game with Shep and I am reminded that God always answers our crys for help. He is always present in times of trouble - we just have to call out to Him.

This week, things do not make sense. There is pain, loss, and suffering, but there is also a God who is ready to comfort and to be present in the midst of the pain. And I am grateful for that.

My sweet friend Brittany is also grateful for a good God in this time of tragedy. When talking about the tragic events of Tuesday and the current state of her heart, her response was:

"I don't have one regret. He lived every day for Jesus and our family. He challenged me in my own life and walk every single day. I know how much he loved us all. Everything in my world changed today. But God is the same. And He is good."

I hope that you will join me in praying for Brittany, her boys, and all of the people that have been impacted by this story.  If you are able, it would be great if we could also support this sweet family financially through one of the ways mentioned above.  Even a gift of $10 could have a big impact for this young family.

Hope floats,
Meg

That Time I Accidentally Turned 30

By the time you read this, I will be THIRTY. Yikes. It feels a little bit like Y2K, but trade the end of the world for the beginnings of arthritis.

I know... this is absolutely ridiculous. Thirty is the new twenty. You only get better with age. I have heard it all, and I am still out of my mind. 

The panic started a few months ago when I thought about one of my favorite Tim McGraw songs, My Next Thirty Years. Before last month, I thought that was a song about an old person reminiscing about their life. Now, it applies to ME. ME!!! 

The past 30 years have been packed with adventures and accomplishments. While they are all a part of my story, I will never get to relive them and that makes me sad. Never again will I get to graduate college, buy my first house, have my first baby, or get married. 

This past weekend, Will and I were out at dinner and a great 70s song came on. 70s music has a new appeal for me . . . as a child of the eighties, it makes me feel young. Just kidding. :) 

The song we heard was Love The One You're With by Crosby Stills Nash.

As you probably guessed, the song is about loving the one you are with. :) Although I have no problems loving the one I am with, the song did make me reflect on this upcoming birthday. 

And I got to thinking . . . I have got to:

• Love this life I am living.
• Love this body I have. 
• And, celebrate this day, because nothing is guaranteed. 

Instead of wasting time thinking about events that I can't relive, I want to have an attitude of thankfulness. 

As a child, I used to LOVE the game of life. I remember being 10 years old and playing this game with the neighborhood kids. I used to live for the split-level house.

Anyways, if I could tell my 10 year old self about my (gasp) 30 year old self, I would have been thrilled. So, why is this birthday so hard? I have decided that the answer is in my inability to have a grateful heart. So, my present (or punishment?) to myself this year was to make a list of thirty things I am thankful for. 

I was surprised to find that I couldn't stop my list at thirty. I kept going and going like the energizer bunny.  The list made me realize that there are so many things and people to be thankful for. 

Perhaps the blessing of aging is that you get to add more people and experiences to your list of things to be grateful for. 

Life is for the living, so love the one you're with. 

Hope floats, 

Meg 

A Life Lesson from the Ocean

The thing about the ocean is that there is ALWAYS another wave. 

Just like with life, some waves are good and bring joy while others can bring sadness and pain.

But there is ALWAYS another wave.

When we went to the beach recently, Shep ran straight to the water. He stood and waited for each passing wave. When the wave came, he shouted, "yay!!" Sometimes, the waves would overtake him. The water would clear his head and saltwater filled his mouth. I would have thought that the strong waves would make him fearful, but they did not. He trusted us to help him back up and then he stood waiting with excitement for the next wave. 

I wish I could live like that. 

Lately, I have been struggling with fear of what the next wave will bring. It is easy for me to spend my time at the edge of the water just thinking about what MIGHT happen instead of walking into the water and relying on the peace of God's presence to get me through the waves of life.

One of my favorite devotionals is Jesus Calling by Sarah Young. An excerpt from the devo for May 19th said:

"When you forget I am with you, you may experience loneliness or fear. It is through awareness of my presence that peace displaces negative feelings. Practice the discipline of walking consciously with me through each day."

The way I see it, we have choices. We can either sit on the edge of the sand and be bystanders of life. Or, we can walk into the water and fully live. I want to choose to live FULLY. I want to practice the discipline of walking consciously with God through each day and to rely on Him to give me peace. 

Have you read the antonyms for fear? They are assurance, faith, calmness, peace, encouragement, ease, contentment, love, courage, joy, and happiness. I want to live like that! After all, the thing about the ocean is that there is always another wave. 

Psalm 29:11

"The Lord gives strength to His people; the Lord blesses His people with peace."

Today, I am going to claim that peace as I walk into the ocean and wait for the next wave. 

And when I forget (and I probably will forget), I am going to remember that my redeemer lives by playing this song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wH0Mc7zn4vc.

Hope floats,

Meg

No Ordinary Love

When I was growing up, I thought my mom was normal. As I have aged, I have learned there is NOTHING normal about her. She is extraordinary. She loves her family well, works full time, and serves her church honorably. I think she even inspired the creation of Pinterest with her end-of-year teacher gifts and birthday party themes. The greatest gift she has ever given me is the gift of being loved. I can honestly say that I have never questioned her love for me. Not once. 

Photo Credit: Jessica Giblin Photography

When I married Will, I got another wonderful mother. One who has made a career of loving and serving her family and friends. Her heart is so big that I often wonder if it will burst from all of the love she gives to just about everyone she meets. She could not serve us better or love us more. 

Photo Credit: Jessica Giblin Photography

Both of these women are extraordinary, but they aren't the only women whose love has shaped me and so many others. Their love has a domino effect - spreading to others like the blaze of a fire. 

To all of these women, we thank you. 

You inspire us to lead with love - even when it hurts.

You have taught us to show up - even when it's inconvenient.

You encourage us to keep on going - even when we are afraid. 

Your love leaves a legacy behind you.

"Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love." ~Ephesians 4:2 

Thank you for bearing with us in love, and for your extraordinary love. 

Happy Mother's Day. 

Hope floats, 

Meg

My Ugly Truth

Imagine for a second that your monthly income just got cut in half. Feeling shocked? Ready to hit the panic button?

That is how I have been feeling lately. Ever since I quit my job to stay home, I have been checking our bank account balance more often than I care to admit. 

Don't get me wrong. I am not questioning our decision. There is no doubt that God called us into this choice. He was so kind in His loud and persistent voice. But even still, I get a lump in the back of my throat when I open up my bank statement. This has been the greatest leap of faith that Will and I have ever had to make. 

While we weren't called to sell all of our belongings and move to a third world country, this has been a significant change for both of us. We have always had more than we needed, and we have never had to pinch pennies. Now, however, we are card carrying members of the pinching pennies club. :) 



The ugly truth is that I am putting my hope and my security in money, which is temporary and uncertain. 

Our small group is studying Andy Stanley's How to Be Rich series. In the study Andy shows that all of us are RICH by the world's standards, and I'm not just talking about being rich in love or grace. We are immensely blessed with money and first world problems. 

In the series, Andy asks the audience how much a person needs to earn in order to be rich. Across every socioeconomic class, the answer for everyone is always the same: MORE than we currently have. 

I have met couples who have tens of millions of dollars who don't consider themselves wealthy. Why? They know people who have MORE than they do. More vacation homes, more money in retirement accounts, more cars, etc. You get the drift.  

The reality is simple: We are all rich and there will ALWAYS be someone with more than you. 

Just consider this: You need to make $34,000 per year in order to be in the top 1% of earners across the globe. WOW! If you make at least $34,000 you are in the global ELITE. 

In December 2013, the Gallup organization reported that the median annual salary across the world was roughly $10,000.  

Going through this series with our small group has been convicting for me. It has shown me that I am putting my hope in the provision, and not in the PROVIDER. If my hope is in my provider, then my security will not be impacted by numbers in a bank account.  

Recently, I saw the following quote that hit a deep part of my heart: 

 

If I wholeheartedly believe that God called us into this choice (and I do), then I must also believe that He will provide for our needs and protect us in this season. That is not an invitation to be reckless with our financial choices, but it is a beautiful invitation to stop living in fear and to trust our provider. 

I don't know where you are right now in your journey. Your struggle may be very different than mine. Your hope might be in your:

- Well behaved children
- Successful business
- Performance review at work
- Home 
- Collection of designer bags
- Physical appearance
- Facebook friends
- Instagram followers
- Etc. 

If our hope is in anything other than the PROVIDER, we are in trouble. It may not be today, but eventually things won't end well. 

Our ONLY chance at sustainable hope is God, who richly provides everything for our enjoyment (1 Timothy 6:17).

I have the following quote on my fridge to remind me that my hope is not in my bank account balance (or anything else for that matter):

"I will not put my hope in riches, but in the one who richly provides." 
~Andy Stanley, How to be Rich

Right now, this is JUST a quote on my fridge. I cannot honestly say that this is the state of my heart, but I CAN honestly say that I am working on it.

Hope floats,
Meg

An Easter Miracle!

As a parent, I have learned that you must have a plan when you take your toddler into the world. The more meticulous the plan, the better off you are going to be. Yes, you need to be flexible, but you also need to have flexi straws, cheddar bunnies, coloring pages, crayons, diapers, and pretty much anything else you can stuff into your bag. Being successful as a parent is all about being prepared.

Today, I thought I was prepared. We found a daytime Good Friday service at a local church. I called at the beginning of the week to find out if they had childcare available and where to take Shep (who is WAY too rambunctious to sit through a service). 

Then, we showed up and they must have changed their minds about childcare or someone didn't get the memo. Shep and I were out of luck and we were terrified. 

I had 2 choices. I could either go home or try to take my TODDLER to a worship service. Note the word toddler is in all caps. We are totally in the toddler stage where there are full blown tantrums in Target. Needless to say, I try not to leave the house without a solid game plan AND exit strategy. I had neither. I did not even have a cheddar bunny crumb in my purse let alone a crayon.

But since we both showered and were dressed, I decided to try the worship service with Shep and I prayed that God would have mercy on my tired Momma soul. I was hoping that we could at least stay for the singing. 

If you have ever known a toddler, you know going somewhere where the toddler is expected to be quiet AND doesn't have any food, toys, or distractions is kind of like running a marathon in a potato sack. Can I get an AMEN? 

Well. . . we just walked out and we didn't just stay for the singing. We stayed for the sermon. We even stayed when the service ran over. And my rambunctious toddling terror did not make a PEEP. Not even one Easter Peep. I was shocked. God was so (sooo) good to us. 

The service ended up being one of the most meaningful services I have ever attended. There is nothing like worshiping while holding a little person in your arms and being in a room full of people who are professing their need for God's grace and praising Jesus. 

I ended up being grateful that they didn't have childcare. I want Shep to know that yes, today is a dark and sad day. Today, we are mindful about the impact our sins had on the life of Jesus.  

And while today is hard, Sunday is coming. The tomb will be EMPTY, and that is something to celebrate.

We hope you will experience an Easter miracle this weekend, too. And while my toddler staying quiet in the service was a miracle, the empty tomb is the greatest miracle there ever was. 

Happy Easter.  

The Dreaded Question . .

It happened. I was at the doctors office and they handed me a form with all the usual questions on it. Including THE question:

What is your title?

I panicked. What should I say? Financial Planner? No, that's not right. Retired? No, not that either. Homemaker? Oh, heck no.

It took all I had in me to stay in the office and not walk out. I think I ended up writing N/A. :)

Some may ask why I don't like the title of homemaker, and it is because I don't "make a home." That sounds antiquated. Besides, my husband "makes our home" when he walks in the door and helps give our son a bath. Shep "makes our home" when he dances in the kitchen while I am doing the dishes. And my sweet friends "make our home" when they trust me with their stories and inspire with their hearts. I definitely am the not the one who "makes our home." I have enough trouble just making dinner!!

All of this got me thinking about the different titles that exist, and especially about the titles that *CAN* elicit a lot of pain for people:

Single.
Unemployed.
Underemployed.
Divorcee.
Married, but in a loveless marriage.
Married, but in a failing marriage.
Victim.
Cancer Patient.
Widow.

The list could go on (and on, and on).

Why does the world even care about our titles? Why do we need a title to give us a sense of worth, validation or approval?





The reality is that all of us have a desire to be seen. I'm not just talking about being around other people and being looked at. I am talking about being SEEN. Hearts exposed. Truly known, and truly loved at the same time.

Since my big transition to being at home, my desire to be seen is at its height. (Side note: Please pray for my husband!). I want to be seen as more than a homemaker. More than a mom. More than a wife. I want to be seen for my heart, and I want to be found WORTHY.

So, this Valentine's Day is going to be different for me for two reasons.



The first is that I am going to rest in the fact that Jesus really does SEE ME, and He has already deemed me worthy. I know that because he died for my sins. In His eyes, I am enough.

The second reason Valentine's Day is going to be different is that I am going to let the people around me know that I see them by writing hand-written notes to a few sweet friends. I want them to know that they are more than their titles, more than their pasts, and more than the balance of their bank accounts.

My favorite blogger, Glennon, says that we belong to each other. This phrase gives me a lot of hope, because I believe that we are to carry each others burdens and love one another since He first loved us. Not because of our titles or our accomplishments, but because we are worthy and we belong to each other.





Thanks for allowing me to be seen, regardless of what I do or how well I can cook.

Hope floats,
Meg

Between a Rock and a Hard Place

Following a one-year old around all day can be very interesting. A few weeks ago, we were on an “adventure” in the driveway (I have learned that little boys like adventures). For some reason, Shep had maneuvered his way in a small crack between a rock wall and a Suburban, and he was using all of his might to push the Suburban back. Needless to say, he was not successful. J

While Shep looks just like his Daddy, he is strong-willed and stubborn like his Mama. He got himself so worked up that he couldn't push the suburban out of the way and continue down his trail.

So, I started gently telling him to change directions and walk around the car. He didn’t listen. My voice became more stern, and he STILL didn’t listen (he might have gotten that trait from me, too). He was even starting to hurt himself by BANGING his head on the rock wall (another thing little boys do - I don't understand this one).  I didn’t know what else to do, so I yanked him in the other direction and carried him around the car.

Sometimes we find ourselves in those situations. We are STUCK between a rock and a hard place and we think if we just work harder, longer, or smarter then we will be able to find traction and continue down our path. This can happen in our relationships, in our careers, and in many other places in our lives. But sometimes, we don't need to work harder, longer, or smarter. Sometimes, our course needs to change, and we need to submit ourselves to God and ask for His direction.

I know this has been true for me. Before this major career change took place, I found myself thinking if only I could get more organized, then I could do it all. I had many “if only” statements, but none of them seemed to be successful.  

No matter how much I tried, I was stuck between a rock and a hard place. I was going down a path, and God was asking me to change my course. At first, His voice was gentle and then it grew more stern. By the end of it (when I was banging my head against the wall), He was yanking my arm and carrying me.

 

Now, looking back, I can see more clearly. The sad part is that I could have missed a lot of pain and experienced more joy if I would have been obedient sooner. If I would have put my desires to the side and asked God for His direction.

It has been 2 months since I took this leap of faith and changed my course. Many of my sweet friends have asked how I am doing, and honestly, I think they brace themselves for my answer. The truth is that I feel more JOYFUL than I have ever been. I feel like I am sitting right where I need to be, and that is an amazing feeling. 

 

Just to be clear: my new job is seriously hard and I'm not doing it perfectly. Just last week, I burned plastic while cooking TWO nights in a row. My kitchen still smells like burnt plastic a little bit. But even though it is hard, it is good. So good. I think that happens when you are obedient. Even though things aren't perfect, you can still experience the joy and life around you. 

Also, as a side note, this is NOT a blog post about being a stay at home mom. This is a blog post about following God's direction for your life - whatever that looks like for YOU. Life is hard. Parenting is even harder. We need more love and less judgment. 

If you have found yourself between a rock and a hard place, there is a way out. Don't bang your head on the rock wall. He can show you the right path. Whether it is a change in your career, a relationship, or your lifestyle. Life is too short to stay between a rock and a hard place. 

I got out. You can, too. 

Hope floats,
Meg